Yep. You read the blog post title correctly. BE SELFISH. I am telling you. It’s time you do it. You deserve and NEED to be selfish.
I’m a pretty awesome counselor you’re thinking, right? A counselor who finally tells you to go do what you want, when you want and for yourself? YES. I’m sure you’ll call to schedule a session right now if that’s what I tell people. That isn’t exactly what I meant. But I am telling you that it is OK to be selfish sometimes. Even healthy. And necessary.
Clients tell me weekly that they feel that they’re losing their minds, that their children are sucking the life out of them, that they can’t get a shower without interruption, the work phone never stops ringing and the reality of the grind of life is just tiresome and overwhelming. Jobs are depleting people of energy to enjoy being home. Children are draining the sanity out of their parents. The volunteer schedule, soccer taxi, homework routine, attempt to make a homecooked meal that everyone likes, be productive at work, have a semi organized home and the expectation to keep it all going with plates spinning and a smile on your face 24/7 just is getting pretty darn old.
Can you relate?
Now let me ask you this…..when was the last time you did something JUST FOR YOU? If you were able to answer that quickly – Congrats!! That’s outstanding. You have figured out that your life is yours to live too and that constantly giving to others’ needs, demands and expectations while ignoring your own is not healthy. But if you had to pause and really think “when did I last do something for me?! Just me. Um…..2007 maybe?” Then it’s time.
This is your invitation. It’s time to be selfish.
I am granting you the permission to ignore the housework and find something just for you. I encourage you to walk away (even if temporarily to just avoid the argument) from the unhealthy relationship with the person who drives you insane, constantly complains, and distracts you from life’s beauty. I want you to go on a walk in the woods without your phone and to see what’s around you and breathe deeply and just think about whatever you want. Or not think at all and just walk. Turn off the computer and let those emails wait until tomorrow. Tonight is your time to breathe work free. Order lunch in (or go out and avoid the clean up all together!) and reconnect with a friend – who likely needs to be selfish too. Schedule a sitter for the kids and go connect with your spouse over an uninterrupted dinner conversation. Play the guitar that has been in the corner for weeks. Start and finish one of your Pinterest pins you’ve been saving for a rainy day or the “free day” that never comes.
It’s time. You can’t continue to go go go and give give give without having a a pause for yourself to re-energize, prioritize and regroup. When we give it all away, we ourselves are drained and unable to continue to do it all and we snap, crumble or the plates start to fall.
Being the person who constantly gives to others, the world, your children, job, spouse and never has a chance to take is hard. And unhealthy.
Go ahead….go take something just for you. I argue you’ll actually be able to give more when you have had a chance to sit back and GET for a change.
I followed my own advice and recently enjoyed a sunset solo. It was beautiful- in many ways.
Go ahead….go find your selfish!