By August 18, 2015Uncategorized

Like many parents, I have been enjoying the final days of summer as the first day of school rushes forward too quickly. Last week I had the chance to take my kids to lunch and just enjoy some uninterrupted time talking with them. It was great. But I would be lying if I didn’t admit I was distracted by some of the conversations around us.

One woman and her friend seated on the patio next to us spent their entire lunch complaining about their husbands. When they tired of verbally beating their partners they turned to gossiping about other mutual “friends”. I silently counted my blessings not to be one of these so called friends.

Another table was full of teens who spent the entire time they were eating on their phones. The only words they uttered were brief “did you see this….” Followed by showing one another their screens to the others at the table. After the nods and grunts of agreement, the heads returned down to look at phones more.

One gentleman was professionally dressed nearby eating alone but on the phone clearly frustrated with a coworker and making sure the person on the other end of the phone knew just how incompetent they were.

What happened to the enjoyed lunch with a friend to catch up and have a POSITIVE experience?? It made me think that these people had scheduled lunches to go out for what I assume was an enjoyable time and instead spent their hour poisoning their minds and emotions. What relationships do we have in our live that are toxic? How do we allow such relationships, personalities and behaviors to continue to creep in to our day and accept that it is acceptable?

Such relationships, whether romantic, professional or friendships, start to change our feelings. Our feelings become our beliefs which turn into our actions. We may go from having a complaining friend to BEING that complaining friend. We may have a negative partner who tells us everything that’s wrong with us only to wake up one day and realize we believe all of those things about us are true.

It is hard to not become what we are surrounded with. When we surround ourselves with toxic relationships, the continual complainer, the gossiper, the yelling boss, the derogatory partner, and angry co worker – it impacts us. It becomes part of our lives. And if given the opportunity- it changes us as we take on a little part of those personalities each encounter.

Today I encourage you to look at the toxins in your life. What are the relationships that are unhealthy for you? Is it a “friendship” that is a downward cycle of negative encounters? Is it an obsession with checking Facebook or posting excessively? Is it the partner who berates? Once identified- you can prepare how to right those negatives. Maybe something as simple as a conversation with the negative personality works or maybe something as difficult as walking away from that relationship is needed. Regardless of what the necessary step is – protecting yourself from poisionous relationships is worth it for your own health.